Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just want to make out with him forever
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
