Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
