Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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