ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
