i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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