Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
