She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
