i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
