I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
