I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
