just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
