almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
