Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
