I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
