You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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