Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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