I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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