do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
