Who did Billy Mays play for?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My life is pants optional.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
