I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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