So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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