You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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