for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I will pee on everything he values.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
