nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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