Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
