god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize