Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
