You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
