Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
