yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
