nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
