I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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