I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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