I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize