I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
