he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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