There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
