Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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