Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
