put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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