I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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