My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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