i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
