The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
