What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
