I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize