they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
