Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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