R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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