So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
