found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
