I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
