You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
