I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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