so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
