it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
