you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
