Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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