okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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