i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
