We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
