Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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