maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
