I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I touched a dick in church today
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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