Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize