I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
