And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
