Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
