I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
