Duck Duck Cougar?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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