how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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