Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
