It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
