I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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