operation harelip BJ is a go
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
