Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry jackwilliams hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table

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(607): View more from New York

We can grow old together and our livers can fail together

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.

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(332): View more from

Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her

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(310): View more from California

If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic

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(641): View more from Iowa

Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.

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(804): View more from Virginia

The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on

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