i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
