I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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