I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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