guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
